Of Farms, FIsh, Frontiers, and Fat Fuckers

So, my little sister, a couple of months ago began play Fishville on Bakebook, naturally some small measure of intellectual rivalry exists between us, made all the worse by the fact that when not playing against one another, we tend to beat all our mates to the extent that no fucker will play us at anything. Having absolutely bugger all else to do with my "life", I set about the process of beating her. And beat her I did, but only by the skin of my balls following a major tortoise and hare move from her. We agreed level 100, I got there first and she took it like a woman.

She even made that her own profile pic, bless :D

But in the meantime, she'd started with Farmville, and again, sod all better to do, and I started playing that.
let me tell you folks......Farmville has saved my life a couple of times, there have been days when clicking on those crops has been the only thing between me and total mental dereliction...and in all truth, has on occasion, been about all I am CAPABLE of anyway. Having a ball playing it, and it will doubtless lead to a few rants in it's own right.

However, what's swum up my cock and taken hold at the moment, is my next two choices in terms of entertainment.......

Frontierville.....well, thinks I, every fucker and his dog is playing this is must be good. Hmmmm, well apart from the utterly bewildering array of miriad things to do that descend on you from day one...there is the fact that it seems impossible to get very far without putting your real hand in your real pocket for real money....this is to an extent true of other games, but patience in those seems to get you where you  need to go if you can't be arsed shilling out the schekls. And then there is the "gameplay", maybe I'm an idiot (whoever said that, right at the back, yes you! see me after!), or maybe I'm not directing interfaced to the game correctly, but as far as I can tell, the gameplay consists of cutting down grass, which is FULL of snakes and incredibly stealthy bears (also found in the woods, where they are presumably otherwise engaged when you happen upon them), the former of which you bonk on the head, the latter of which you jump up and down in front of until they take pity on you, or worry that eating you may contaminate them with whatever made you act like such a spacker when faced with death., And after cutting back a windowbox worth of grass, and chopping down a sapling, you're fucked and can't do any more unless you eat (and guess what.....money needed for any meaningful dosage of food)....you then go away and wait for more energy only to come back and see that every bit of grass has regrown and the snakes and bears have been busy making little snakes and bears.
So it's really Hitsnakesandmowthelawnville.


Then came city of wonder.....now again, I may be doing it wrong, but what happens in this game is.....
Your people have a great deal of sex, making lots of little people.
They demand leisure centres continually, if you don't give them to them, they sort of hold their kids hostage until they get them.
If you make goods that take a day to produce, and turn up to harvest them half an hour late.....it's all fucking rotted...including.....statues and live animals????????????
Should be called "Incestville Alabama" really.
Except no septic would EVER wimper to government for endless leisure centres.....more likely to just ask to make some more illegal fun stuff legal (and this is not a policy I entirely dissaprove of as long as some of the activities legalised don't include "shootin dark lookin folks fer sport" driving while too drunk to walk, and rape.)




Oh I have reassembled the netbooks I stripped down.....I fucking DID put the network cards back in the same machines they were taken from LOL.


Please keep this in mind the next time i say stuff like "just take your screwdriver and........"



Soapytitwank!